The Road Not Taken

Finally I managed to have a break but no rest after quite a tiring day. Though I’m supposed to be at my husband’s kampung right now, but here I am checking on Ammar’s temperature every 10 minutes. He was feverish this morning and my husband and I took turn sponging him from 5.30 – 7.00 a.m. That has prompted me to take EL today after spending tormenting hours of choosing between work and a day off.I don’t know which one is worse, feeling guilty of taking leave or guilty of thinking about work over you sick child. Though I’m feeling bad to have to stain the name of my department once again, and I bet my Kp was having a rough day today due the addition of the gundalan, I’m glad that I chose to take care of my son. This evening his temperature has soared to 39˚C and we had to take him to the doctor once again by motorbike since the car will only be out of workshop next week. When I look at Ammar’s sick face, the more guilty I feel about having the thought of leaving him and going to work especially when he had a bad cough and threw out. He refused to eat and he’s not as active which is so unlikely of Ammar. It show’s that he’s really, really sick sebab kalau demam sikit-sikit tu selera makan dan tahap keaktifan tetap sama. It’s really terrible of me to think of other’s over my son’s health. When I told this to my husband he only gave a short reply…mana lebih penting, anak atau apa orang cakap? Kalau jadi apa-apa dengan anak, orang boleh tolong ke? He’s right…now that my son is very ill, and I’m all alone figuring out what to do. There’s no one to turn to, not even family.